Won't You?
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Shuichi has just been raped and well, his mind is playing tricks on him...with Yuki's voice. Or is it really his conscience?


Disclaimer: Gravitation is by Maki Murakami-sensei. I have learned to love Shuichi as much so I write fanfics.  
  
  
For Yuki Eiri  
For Yuki Eiri  
For Yuki Eiri...  
  
You'd give up anything for what you want, won't you, Shuichi?  
  
Won't you?  
  
  
Won't you?  
by Miyamoto Yui  
  
  
  
Yuki looked at me with his golden vampire eyes. I almost had mistaken them for something more than a vampire though.   
These weren't the eyes of love. They were of a carnal passion. Something more base...more ferocious...maybe even threatening.  
He wasn't glaring at me though. His eyes had a look of concern that rarely came to aid me in my time of need. No, he looked at me straight in the face as he held my chin. Searching deeply into my eyes, I drank the air around me as he breathed.   
"You'd give up anything for what you want, won't you, Shuichi?" His tone was seductive. Almost childish in a way.  
Almost on the verge of making me lose my breath because I felt so hot from the intensity of the situation.  
He leaned over and even closer to me. "Won't you?"  
But he was already touching me. His hand was already on my stomach and working its way up my shirt.  
I melted as I submitted being kissed.   
"Won't you?" he repeated again right before he pressed his lips against mine.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed.  
I looked around me and found the enticing scene with Yuki had given way to a locked room. A room not with Yuki.  
One with Aizawa.  
The sweat poured from my face. It was then that I realized that the shout was my own, but my spirit was watching my torture.  
  
I watched it all over again.  
I watched myself being raped.  
  
The scream had been a silent one in my head, but I collapsed to the ground with my hands over my ears. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"   
Over and over the murmurs of my mouth persisted as my mind and body clashed in trying to express the pain.  
"Yuki...Yuki...help me." I was whispering inside my mind.  
I started to laugh inside my head. "Oh no, that's right. I'm doing this for Yuki. I'm doing this because I love Yuki."  
  
I will make any sacrifice for my beloved Yuki.  
  
He would do the same for me, ne? Wouldn't he?  
  
It was then that I started to have tears come down my face. I knew the answer. It was all full of uncertainty.  
I didn't know anything at all.  
  
Hiro would. Without thinking twice.  
If I jumped off a ledge, he would jump off to catch me. Even if it mean that he would die in the process.  
  
Yuki...I don't know...  
  
As I was beaten up further, one picked up my chin and began to kiss me on the lips and even licked my neck with his saliva trailing down the nape of my neck.  
The other one held me in a vice grip.   
But no matter what I did, there was nothing I could do.  
  
I would lose either way.  
  
Is this the reality of competition? Is this what life was about? That people could act so connivingly and sell their soul to the demon to achieve worldly happiness?  
  
Selfishly, as I coughed in pain, I bit my lip thinking, "Yes...anything to have Yuki."  
  
There was nothing I wanted more except for Bad Luck to advance. But even that was being taken away from me.  
The eternity passed, but not without photographing my shame. Leaving me at some random spot in the rain, I barely had the strength to go to a telephone booth.  
I lifted up my weak legs. But I knew what I looked like.  
  
I was torn. Inside out.  
  
Barely keeping my balance, I called Hiro and fell to the ground as I did so. I couldn't even keep the phone up.  
Beep. Beep....the phone died after a 'I'll be there, Shuichi.'  
Did I put the phone on the hook? I don't remember.  
  
I don't know what I did. But as the rain poured, I leaned on a wall and laughed. I tried foolishly to catch the rain in my hands. "Why do you have to do that?" I asked myself. "Just wipe your cheeks. They're the same thing."  
Yes...they are...  
I began to hug myself not because of the cold or the fever approaching, but because of the knowledge I kept inside of me.  
  
The shame of being damaged goods.  
  
STUPID STUPID SHUICHI! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!  
  
I didn't know if I wanted to cry or abuse myself anymore. Why didn't Aizawa just kill me in the process, dammit?!  
  
  
"Hiro..." I murmured as I saw his angelic silhouette in front of the crowd of cars passing by.  
He immediately ran to me. "Shuichi!!!!!!!!!"  
I tried to hold onto him. But I could barely keep conscious as I pulled lightly on a lock of his hair and whispered lovingly to his ear, "Thank you, Hiro. I knew you loved me..."  
"Don't tell Yuki. Please, Hiro." I breathlessly said.  
With my last breath, I whispered, "Let's keep this a secret between you and me."  
Hiro held me tighter and I could feel his lips on my forehead as I vainly tried to hold onto his wet hair...  
  
"Where am I?" I looked around me. It was nothing but black space.  
A chibi me appeared from somewhere and started to laugh. He ran around and grabbed my leg. "Shuichi. Shuichi. Don't let them near me."  
"There's no one here."  
The chibi quivered as his nails grined into my skin until it bled. "No!!!! They're there!!!!!!!"  
He looked up at me full of tears as I stared down at him. It was then that I noticed the blood splattered on his white t-shirt permeating through his blue overalls.  
"You're all right. No one is here."  
I got down on my knees and hugged him.  
He was silent for a moment as he whispered devilishly into my ear, "You can't run away forever, Shuichi. You can't deny anything."  
  
"Everyone will soon know, you know?" He then pushed himself away from me.  
  
My eyes opened immediately as the images of Aizawa and my other attackers flashed before me.  
"You're dirty, Shuichi."  
The chibi laughed evilly and ran away into the darkness. "Dirty!!!! Dirty Shuichi!"  
  
"Even Yuki can't go for this," a voice said to my side. I looked up through my blurry eyes and saw myself.  
"You did this for yourself." Another self (of the same age though) appeared before me with white pjs and shook his head.   
"No! No that's not true!" I cried out while shaking in frustration and fear.  
  
"You'd do anything for me, Shuichi?" Yuki's voice protruded in the darkness as my other self disappeared.  
I looked around as I shouted. "Yuki? YUKI!!!!!!!??????????!!!!! DOKO DESU KA???????????!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Won't you, Shuichi? Won't you, Shuichi?..."  
  
  
I opened my eyes.   
Getting up slowly, I thought, "Maybe it's just a dream."  
But as Hiro stared at me with the concern that only he could give me, I KNEW.  
  
I was mistaken.  
  
A sharp pain shot through my body and through my heart. I wanted to scream out my pain and run around the place.  
I wanted to cry in Hiro's arms. I wanted Yuki to make this all better.  
  
But there I sat ready to cry and yet looking as spaced out as a doll that didn't know what it meant to move. My glassy eyes betrayed me as Hiro looked at me.  
  
Even him. I didn't want him to touch me. I trembled in fear. Even if it was my Hiro.  
  
Maybe I did do this for myself. I love him so much. I'll do anything for Yuki Eiri. I resigned myself to this fact ever since I realized it.  
Was this the way though?   
  
All these thoughts came to mind and I couldn't keep them in sequential order. I was raped of everything...  
Maybe Yuki is already gone. My band is taken away from me? I can't look at Hiro without shame? I can't think straight but all these thoughts are running through me quickly like bullet trains colliding.  
  
I looked at Hiro with tears in my eyes but they wouldn't fall.  
All this...  
  
And I had nothing to say.  
  
"Have I officially lost everything?" I mumbled inaudibly.  
  
Tomorrow, I'll pretend like nothing happened. Pretend that this didn't happen to me...   
  
Then, I leaned forward as I grabbed my head. Over and over his questions came to me like a broken record:  
  
"You'd do anything for me, Shuichi?   
Won't you?"  
  
  
Stupidly, I nodded to myself.   
  
Yes, I would.  
  
  
You're mine, Yuki Eiri.   
And I won't let you _ever_ forget it.  
  
  
  
  
--  
Author's note:   
Three means 'i love you' in some cultures.  
  
It's been a long time since I've made a Gravi fic, but I hope you enjoyed it because I'm a little out of practice. ^^;;; I really wanted to do some scenes in which I felt that I wish the animators should have gone to depth about. As much as I loved the anime, it was still too fast in my opinion. And especially this part.  
  
Being raped isn't just a passing thing. Trust me...  
  
This is dedicated to all those who have ever been abused... 


End file.
